


North American Trio

by Izzie090305



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2020-09-19 00:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20321716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzie090305/pseuds/Izzie090305
Summary: One-shot series following the lives of the North American Trio (America, Canada, Mexico).Will occasionally include other countries from the Americas such as Greenland, Cuba, Brazil etc..





	1. Fuck Who?

It was a world meeting for our nations and it was currently break time. The north american brothers (America, Canada and Mexico) were sitting on a couch in a corner of the U.N. living room. Around them the other nations were either eating a snack, talking with nations or bickering with them both were normal.

America was chatting about the newest game of Baseball they were planning on playing after the meeting while munching on some BBQ ribs while Canada and Mexico joined and stole some of his food (hey its good and the man can cook)

"So anyway dudes. I recently got the newest game that Kiku sent me if you wanted to play afterwards." Alfred (America) said looking at his brothers.

"Yeah that sounds good eh, it not like we have anything else to do while we stay the night." Matthew (Canada) said to his brothers as he stole food from Alfred's plate.

"Si hermano that sound like a good idea." Diego (Mexico) said taking a sip of soda.

Sadly their calm atmosphere was ruined but Lovino (South Italy or Romano) yelling at Gilbert (Prussia) about something.

"Fucking hell Potato Bastard shut the fuck off your so annoying!" Lovino yelled at him.

"It's the way I am Romano" Gilbert replied with a smirk. Romano looked about ready to blow a gasket.

"Ve~ are you alright Roma?" Feliciano (Italy) asked his brother. It looks like he has a death wish ladies and gentleman, good thing Lovino just focus his anger somewhere else besides hitting his brother.

"Fuck Prussia" he yelled pissed off.

And quickly to the point you would think it was planned, Alfred smirked and said, "Canada already did"

...

There was an almost deafening silence as everyone stared at the american. Gilbert blushed madly from embarrassment. Romano started laughing maniacally. And Matthew pulled out his hockey stick (which was somehow covered in blood, who's no one will ever know) and started chasing Alfred around the living room while Diego just sat there and ate what was previously Alfred's food and is now whoever wanted it and was recording the whole thing on his phone. "Latin America is going to love this" he thought

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! TURN AROUND AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN YOU HOSER!" Matthew yelled.

And that is the story of how all of Europe developed a fear of Canadians.


	2. Remember

"Hey you guys" Feliks (Poland) stated one day during a small 10 minute break of getting absolutely nothing done. "Do you like remember the bubonic plague"

"Yes?" Every European answered questionably.

"Remember how you guys were so sick you guys couldn't even move." he said

"Uh-huh" they replied

"Remember how it like didn't happened to me?" Feliks said smugly

And all together united as one every European said a simple "Fuck off Feliks"

The three north american brothers stared at each other before Alfred stood up.

"Hey you guys" Alfred spoke up gathering their attention his brothers smirking already knowing where this will lead to. "Remember when you killed 95% of our population because of sickness and war and brought them into slavery and were raped but you guys still cared more about whether or not we had gold while we writhed in agony as our people nearly went extinct because they actually were hygienic and had never had any sickness before you guys showed up."

No one uttered a word after what Alfred just said leaving them speechless. Antonio (Spain), Arthur (England) and Francis (France) looked at them guilty but were promptly ignored.

"Yeah so shut the fuck up." Mathew said to them as he sat next to his brothers as Diego tried to not die of laughter in the corner next to them.


	3. Tea Cup Ride

The nations were visiting Disneyland in a vacation/bonding time event set up by their bosses.

They were currently waiting in line now split up into groups for the infamous teacup ride. The groups were

Alfred, Matthew, and Diego

Jett (Australia), Toby (New Zealand), and Arthur (England)(who had joined for some family bonding time.)

Roderick (Austria), Ludwig (Germany) and sadly Gilbert though he seemed like he honestly wanted to enjoy this ride.

Feliks who was in the middle of Romania and Francis weird trio i know

Antonio and the Italy twins (Lovino and Feliciano)

Kiku (Japan) Yao (China) and Leon (Hong Kong)

Im Yong Soo (South Korea), Chaiya Boonliang (Thailand), and Trần Chung Liên (Vietnam)

The Nordics were split up with Mathias (Denmark), Lukas (Norway), and Emil (Iceland) on one

And Berwald (Sweden), Tino (Finland), and Peter (Sealand) on the other

And Elizabeta (Hungary), Vash (Switzerland), and Lili (Lichtenstein) making up the last group.

Surprisingly all the nations seemed to be content with just spinning calmly while talking; Well all but three.

As soon as they got in Alfred, Matthew, and Diego were getting ready to spin. Sensing the ride about to start they started counting

"Five" Matthew began calmly

"Four" Alfred continued mischief evident in his eyes.

"Three" Jose said smirk on his face

"Two" Mathew again

"One" Alfred now

"Zero!" they all screamed scaring the nations closets to them.

As the ride started and they began spinning the disc to go faster. At this point all the nations started at the originally shaped tea cup now just a blur of red and yellow and all they could hear were screams. Whether they were from excitement or fear the nations had no clue.

When the ride finally slowed to a stop the nations grew both scared and amused by the 3 nations that seemed to be walking like drunk adults while laughing to the point they were crying.

"Again again!" The Alfred, Matthew, and Diego yelled using each other to hold themselves up looking as though extremely drunk.

Yup the nations though they have officially gone insane.

"Uh Alfred, Matthew, Diego you okay mates?" Jett asked them worryingly.

"Never been better" Alfred said stumbling into his hero pose before falling on his ass.

"Come on we should go to the tower of terror" Matthew said running almost as though drunk to the line.

"Birdie don't leave without me" Gilbert said trying to help him not fall on his face.

"It's going to be a long day" everyone thought as they watched the north american brothers go over to wait in the line a lot less dizzy than before.


	4. Sleep?

Austria stared at the tired nations in front of him they were having a meeting in his capital Vienna. They were currently on a break for the world meeting as everyone was tired and nearly no one was listening so Germany imposed a 30 minute long coffee break which all the nations were thankful for.

“You guys do know that you should have between 7 to 8 hours of sleep per day?” Roderick said plainly to the nations. 

“Only 8 hours I get way more than that!” Antonio exclaimed from his seat next to Romano.

“Mein gott I can barely reach 6…” Ludwig tiredly said trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Sleep?!” Alfred yelled his third cup of coffee that hour in his hands.

The nations stared at him. Then to the coffee in his hands. Then back at him. Matthew and Diego looked bored like they were used to Alfred not having any sleep.

“Alfred, lad, are you alright?” Arthur asked afraid for his son's mind.

“Honestly I feel great I finally got 3 hours of sleep.” Alfred said not even fazed by their questioning glances as he gets another cup of coffee.

…

“Don't worry about him. He used to only get 30 minutes of sleep at night now he gets at least 2 and on weekends he gets 8 hours of sleep… Sometimes. And also you try sleeping when you have seven different time zones and a truckload of paperwork every night.” Matthew said not even looking up from his notes.

“Alfred-kun are you sure you're alright?” Kiku (Japan) asked timidly

“Never felt better” he shouts from the kitchen.

"Maybe you should drink less coffee" Arthur stated

"No coffee cures depression"

"Alfred I don't think-" Francis began

"More espresso less depresso"

“Don't even bother we tried we failed only a miracle would make him go to the doctors to get his insomnia cheeked out” Diego said sharpening his knife.

“Alfred-kun if you really can't sleep at night maybe you should go visit the doctor.” Kiku asked his boyfriend worryingly

“Fine I'll go but only for you” Alfred said kissing his boyfriend's check.

“Never mind we just need his boyfriend.” Matthew said looking up raising a brow. Gilbert looked at him expectantly and Matthew sighed before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“Eww love” Diego said looking at his brothers while they just laughed.


	5. Chat-Speak

It was after another world meeting and things never seem to stop getting weirder. England was looking through some old text with some words he didn't understand. He decided to ask the new world brothers about it.

"Hello lads I notice you like to add these weird words." Arthur said looking through his phone.

"What weird words?" Alfred asked leaning over to see his phone.

"Well one is lol what does that even mean?"

"Okay easy enough, so lol means laugh out loud, eh." Matthew said looking at his own phone as he texted Gilbert.

"What about rofl?" Francis asked.

"That mean rolling on the floor laughing." Alfred said now bored doodling on his piece of paper that was meant for notes.

"What about, and Diego sent this Lshidmtamsfo?" Antonio asked

"Laughing so hard I dropped my taco and my sombrero fell off." Diego said dead serious while eating a taco... Where he got that they have no idea as they are in Sweden right now and they never saw Diego make any.

The other nations decided not to question it and left it at that. 

Well except England.

He was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room muttering about how his "Precious language had been ruin by americans" blablabla the nations really didn't care at this point.

He did do it all the time after all. So it was a common occurrence.


	6. Math Book

"I swear I have the sex appeal of a math book" Diego said during a world meeting while they were on break. This outburst caused the nations to quiet down and listen into the conversation.

What they were bored and their conversations are at least mildly interesting.

"I don't know I've never seen someone open a math book and not say 'fuck me'" Matthew said raising a brow to his little brother.

"That was smooth as fuck." was what every nation was practically thinking.

Alfred smirked, "Don't forget how many times people bang books on a table" he said matter-of-factly.

"..."

"You know I feel a lot better about being a math book thanks guys" Juan said before standing up and leaving the room.

"Where is he going?" Canada asked Alfred

"I don't know do you think I have him chipped or something?" Alfred asked by the look Matthew was giving him he quickly relented. "Yeah hold up a sec."

He took out a tracker device and turned it on silently reading what it said.

"So-?" Matthew asked.

"He's going into a bar okay get ready for emotional little brother crying about not getting laid or how "she was the one" for the millionth times." Alfred said plainly starring Matthew in the eye. Matthew just nodded, okay with what was just mentioned.

The rest of the nations ALL felt like they needed a drink.


	7. English Language

Another world meeting, another thing that at least one of the north american brothers would be apart of and they were correct. They where in Australia for the meeting and everyone was hanging around as the meeting finished 30 minutes prior but it was raining so no one wanted to go outside, especially when they could go to their rooms inside of the building as it was nicer and cheaper to do. Right now every nation was talking to each other in their native language you know languages other than english (gasp yes they exist) though some did not find that fun.

Toby sighed sadly before turning to the others and speaking up. "I want to join in on speak your language day but then I remember I only speak english."

Alfred stones face not even looking up from the papers in his hands said "Burger burger constitution freedom"

"Tea tea empire etiquette" Arthur joined in taking a sip of tea.

"Sorry sorry maple hockey" Matthew said looking down on his phone watching a game of hockey.

"Kangaroo kangaroo timtam fuck is that a spider." Jett said thought the last one caused the others to look up. "Who opened the window?" he yelled out to the other nations who have been staring at them as they had their "english exchange"

"I did, I thought it was getting hot in here so I opened the window is that bad?" France asked nervously.

"No not necessarily but you forgot to pull down the mesh to keep the bugs out so now a spider got inside and... I lost it." Australia stated in a monotone voice.


	8. Cute?

"What what ve~ Germany protect me!" Feliciano said hiding behind the said nation.

"Don't worry, I know where it is" a random voice picked up

"Where is it Al?" Jett asked looking around the room.

"On my shoulder" the nations turned to look at Alfred as he said that.

"Fuck that's like a huge ass tarantula" Leon (Hong Kong) said from the other side of the room.

"Yeah its really cool actually" Alfred said now holding the tarantula in his palm and looking at it as it crawls all over his hand.

"You got nuts for brains" Arthur told him plainly.

"It is strangely cute" Matthew said looking closer at it.

"Not you too Mathieu" Francis said wondering were he went wrong in his old charge's life. 

"What" now they were both playing with it having it crawl up each others arms which Jett and Toby strangely seemed jealous of.

"You can join in you know" the twins said to Jett and Toby.

Which is what they did.

So now the nations were looking at the 4 countries playing with a tarantula and wondering how they ended up losing their sanity

Did I mention that Gilbert and Kiku were looking at their s/o like they were insane as well.

Yeah.

Not good.

"It tickles" Wendy (Wy) said as it crawled up her bare arm when she finally caved and joined in.

At all.


	9. Permanent

Another world meeting you know the drill and their was another argument going on of course. This time with China and Japan after China found japan's newest tattoo which confused the nations as they didn't know he had tattoos to begin with.

"Wow 6 tattoos those are pretty permanent you know, aru" Yao said distastefully to Kiku.

"Wow 6 kids those are pretty permanent, china" Kiku shot back.

"Technically they both can be removed with lasers" Alfred said not even looking up from where he was on his phone on a couch.

...

"Alfred what the fuck" Kiku said, so in shocked that he didn't bother putting an honorific in his name.

"I mean he's not wrong" Matthew, who had previously been looking at memes, said causing Gilbert to give him a weird look.

Yao looked at them a little fearfully "I don't like the idea of you two being around children all of a sudden, aru."

"I mean we've babysat Peter loads of times so I don't think there is much to worry about dude. I was merely stating the fact that both kids and tattoos can be removed by lasers." Alfred said. "Oh nice Mattie lol"

"Yeah I know"

After a moment of extremely judging silence the twins looked up to see the others staring at them.

"What?"


	10. The British are Coming

Another great 8 meeting another day for the north american brothers to end up doing stupid shit. Seeing as it was a great 8 meeting though only Alfred and Matthew were aloud to be there. Currently they were in Berlin, Germany. And Ludwig (Germany) was placing back and forth waiting for a certain Brit that seems to be M.I.A.

Sighing Ludwig looked up and asked. "Does anyone know when is Arthur going to be here or how to contact him in general?" most nations shook their head or shrugged well all but one.

"Hold on I got this." Alfred said before looking out the window, cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting. "The british are coming. The british are coming. The british are coming."

Suddenly the nations heard wheels screeching to a halt, car horns, a lot of honking and rapid footsteps climbing up the stairs. Alfred held up his fingers and started counting down.

"Three

Two

One"

As soon as he finished one the Brit bad thrown open the door showing an angry expression on his face.

"You git I told you to stop doing that you bloody wanker!" Arthur yelled at the american before realizing he was in a meeting and quickly set himself straight. "I'm sorry for being late Ludwig, there was a lot of traffic as one of the roads were blocked because of a fallen tree."

Germany still in trance because of how America was able to summon England so easily and honestly what the fuck had just happened and only stood their in shocked.

"Ja it's no problem. Anyway let's start the meeting."


	11. American "Accent"

The nations were once again in the meeting room chatting as they had managed to finish early that day.

Alfred was extremely tired and when he gets tired... lets just say England wants nothing to do with him.

Anyway Matthew and Diego were talking to Alfred ignoring the stares they got for actually understanding his accent.

"I'm just saying yall'dve'if'i'd've" Alfred said to his brothers his words finally making England snap.

"Okay you bloody wanker what the bloody hell did you just say because if you speak it better be the queen's english" Arthur yelled extremely annoyed.

"Oh Arthur Alfred just said that "You all would have if I would have" Matthew said calmly.

"Yaint smart for not gettin' dat" Alfred said again.

"The countries turned to Matthew for the translation.

"You all are not smart for not being able to understand what I just said"

The nations started arguing and yelling before Alfred's phone went off.

"Anyways ima go now I need to take dis 'ere phone call." Alfred said once again.

"Ima means I'm going to" Diego replied giving his brother a chance to cool off.

"How the bloody hell does Alfred ruin my language that badly." Arthur grumbled.

"Don't look at us we have no idea it just happened over time." Diego said once again.

Welp Arthur started crying again. This is getting strangely more and more common as the years go by but the nations honestly couldn't give a shit at the moment.


End file.
